Pretty Boy
by All-Knowing Alien 2
Summary: Alex has a plan. Artemis does NOT like it. Crossdressing and slash ensue. AA crossover. No idea what happened with the title XD.


Alright. I'm pretty sure I had started an Artemis/Alex fic _some time ago_…just that when my computer went to the shop, all my files got deleted. Sad TT Anyway, now that I have inspiration (after reading lots of really good A/A) I shall make my contribution. X3

Warning: Slash. And maybe OOCness.

Disclaimer: Artemis Fowl belongs to Eoin Colfer. Alex Rider belongs to Anthony Horowitz. That means I don't own either of them. Sad.

Summary: Alex has a plan. Artemis does NOT like it. Cross-dressing and slash ensue. A/A

OoOoOoOoOo

"Move! Move!"

An irritated fifteen-year-old scowled as he was manhandled into an elevator. "I was quite sure I informed you thoroughly of the plan." An exasperated sigh escaped his lips. They had almost been caught. And now they were running away from the hired help. For Artemis Fowl, neither was an acceptable option.

"Of course you did. But I'm pretty sure you didn't think MI6 would get involved." His current business partner, Alex Rider, gave him a wan smile, as his finger pressed their floor button; Penthouse. Only the best for a Fowl.

"Of course I did, I just did not imagine they would be so…overzealous." Artemis frowned. "Why are we returning to the room? It would not be wise." Really, he had expected better of an ex-spy who had gone against Scorpia and lived.

"Not our room. Juliet's." Alex had become quite fond of the younger Butler, who had escorted the both of them in their little…excursion, as Domovoi had to visit an ailing Madam Ko. Although Juliet had no idea about their 'mission'. As far as she knew, both boys were there for the 'Annual Junior Rubix Cube Championships', a competition Artemis only attended to keep up his reputation. Yesterday he had almost equalled his previous record of 1 minute (**1**), earned at the age of ten.

"I doubt Juliet can protect both of us from armed MI6 operatives. And, even if she succeeded, she would tell Butler, and I will not allow that to happen." Both of them stepped out of the elevator at the same time. The Jr. Fowl's loafers clicked against the marble floor.

"No, no, don't you remember what Juliet is doing right now?"

"Attending that dim-witted 'ball' for young adults, I assume, she –"

"Precisely! We'll hide out there, and MI6 will be none the wiser." Alex tapped the side of his nose mockingly and fished out the hotel's skeleton key – stolen earlier. Juliet's door opened without fuss, and Alex immediately went over to the suitcase.

"I hardly see why we have to go to Juliet's room at all –" Artemis' words were cut off as Alex threw something at his head. He extricated himself from the flowing material, and studied it, mouth agape in a very un-Fowl-like manner.

"No. _No._"

"Yes."

OoOoOoOoOo

A quarter of an hour later, they made it into the ballroom with no fuss at all. Not counting the appreciative looks directed at both Alex and Artemis. The latter felt very self-conscious, and Alex's hand on the small of his back hardly helped matters. Alex, who was clad in a smart pair of trousers and a deep blue shirt. Good for him, Artemis thought petulantly.

Why so bitter? Because _he_ had been forced into one of Juliet's skirts. If you could call it that; there was far too little material. Removable hair extensions had been attached to his head, giving him shoulder length raven locks and making him look…_feminine_. The lip gloss and eyeliner he had somehow been coerced into wearing only put emphasis on the fact. And let us not _mention_ the shoes.

He turned his patented Fowl glare at Alex, who only smiled charmingly back. His excuse for not donning female clothes was that he wouldn't fit in them. Artemis inwardly made a face, as the skirt was _very_ fitting. And, judging by the flattering looks he was getting, it was not a good thing.

Alex stopped at the drink table, and, because of the music, had to lean in to whisper in Artemis' ear. The Fowl did _not_ shiver at the close contact.

"I'm going to look for Juliet, and try to buy us an alibi, okay?" And he left without another word. Artemis scowled at his retreating back, and surveyed the drinks. He sincerely had misgivings any beverage was not somehow spiked with alcohol, and there was no way there would be Earl Grey anywhere. He whirled around when someone tapped his shoulder.

"Hey, babe, where's your boy?" The speaker was a strongly built teenager, maybe a few years older than he. A chain ornamented his neck, and he reeked of aftershave and alcohol. At Artemis' lack of reply, he was audacious enough to wrap an arm around his waist.

"What's your name, honey? I'm Rick," he purred into Artemis' ear. Said Fowl sent him a lethal glare.

"Get your hands off me," came the cold reply.

"Oh, don't be like that, baby, I can make it worth your while." The arm tightened its grip.

Artemis tried to push the oaf off, feeling all the world like the girl he was dressed up as, but 'Rick' wouldn't budge. How embarrassing this was! Too late he realised that Rick was now kissing him, and just barely managed to turn his head away. He slapped Rick, who only laughed. And _where_ was Alex?

"Excuse me, I believe she is _my_ girlfriend," came a new voice. Artemis was about to retort that he was _nobody's_ girlfriend, when he saw who it was. Long life. Or was it speak of the Devil?

"Oh yeah? Not like you were with her or nothin'." Artemis inwardly cringed at the horrible grammar. Again he tried to squirm out of the bigger boy's grip, again he failed. He heard the chuckle from Alex, and looked up to see emotion in those brown eyes. Possessiveness.

He was unsure of what happened next, despite his renowned powers of observation. One moment, Alex had taken a step towards them, and the next, he was being led away by Alex, leaving Rick lying on the ground, groaning in pain. He didn't have time to dwell on this, however, as he realised with a start that they were heading towards the dance floor.

Alex ignored the questioning glance the teenage-genius sent to him, instead placing his hands delicately on the other boy's waist. After a glare, Artemis grudgingly wrapped his arms around the erstwhile spy's neck. He did have _some_ idea about this sort of thing.

"Juliet thinks that you have a headache and I have been upstairs with you. MI6 should be gone by midnight," Alex explained as they revolved slowly on the spot. But his voice was somehow…distracted, like he was thinking of something else. This something else was actually along the lines of how Artemis' eyes were so very blue…_Artemis…_

Artemis' mind, however, was more on the hands on his waist. This was too intimate a position for him. The only Fowl child shivered; he had little to nought experience in physical contact, but Alex's hands…_Alex…_

"He didn't hurt you, did he?"

A soft smile graced Artemis' face, never before seen by Alex. "No. Thanks to you." He ducked his head shyly, again very unlike him, and when he looked up at Alex, their faces seemed much closer than before.

And soon all these thoughts vanished as their lips connected, soft and unsure. Artemis pushed closer to the other boy until their chests were touching, and Alex's arms were more possessive…

OoOoOoOoOo

"That is definitely not the Fowl boy, Mrs. Jones," said Alan Blunt. Both MI6 operatives were in their headquarters, watching the goings on in the hotel. "I do not see how you thought it was him in the first place. A Fowl would not degrade himself into wearing clothing of the female persuasion."

"Alex is a very convincing person," Mrs. Jones retorted. Alan only sent her a look. She sighed, and reached into her purse. "Very well. Call back the agents." A peppermint was popped into her mouth.

OoOoOoOoOo

Artemis found himself pressed against Alex's hotel-room door, his legs wrapped around the other boy's waist, hands buried in fair hair. Their kisses were far more heated than the ones in the ballroom below, which they had quickly evacuated, not noticing the eyes of a certain female Butler on them…

The genius' hand brushed against the light control switch as Alex gave him a love bite just under his ear. Suddenly the room was bathed in soft light, and Alex paused, and took in the sight of his (previously known as) colleague. _Something's not…right…_

Startling blue eyes gazed back at him with concern, an emotion that was rarely seen. Alex had only before seen smug contempt and calculating coolness. A gentle hand caressed his cheek softly, almost an alien concept to be tied to Artemis Fowl the Second. This same boy said quietly, "What is the matter?"

In truth, Artemis' mind was quickly filling with doubt, and with thoughts that he did not like in the slightest. _He's just realised…I'm his partner…business partner…and a **male**…He thinks it's all been a mistake…_

But even as soon as he said those words, Alex knew exactly what wasn't right. With trembling fingers he softly wiped away what was left of the lip gloss off, followed by the eyeliner. Each and every hair extension was painstakingly removed, and they fluttered to the floor silently. And when he was done, he surveyed his work and he was contented. Pale and smooth, only a faint pink tinge marring the alabaster skin. Smudged eyeliner only served to bring out his beautiful blue eyes. His raven hair, back at its original length stressed the fact that he was who he was.

A fifteen-year-old teenage boy. Alex's friend, maybe more than that. Artemis Fowl the Second. Alex's Artemis. _His Artemis._

Their lips met in another kiss, gentle and tender, and the both of them knew it was more than a one night stand. Both of them knew they were both boys, and others would not understand, but why should they care? Both of them knew that the feeling blossoming in their chests was new, and frightening, and foreign, but it felt so good, so appropriate, and so _right_.

It was evident in the way Alex's arms cradled Artemis as they approached the bed. It was evident in the way their bodies complemented together, from the tips of their toes to their lips. It was evident in the way they worshipped every inch of each other, almost torturously. It was evident in the way they fit together so well, and in the way they reached heights of pleasure unique only to them, together.

It was evident in the way they both whispered "I love you", and afterwards lay together in each other's arms, falling asleep to the rhythm of their beating hearts.

OoOoOoOoOo

Juliet knocked on Alex's door the next morning, worried. She had not found Artemis in his room, so maybe the ex-MI6 operative would know. Dom would kill her if he found out she had neglected her principle. She was about to turn and search the hotel restaurant when the door finally opened to reveal an extremely ruffled Alex, dressed only in his boxers. By the look of things, he had only just thrown them on.

"Um…hi, Juliet."

"Yeah…" Juliet gave him a look, and her girlyness emerged and temporarily blinded her worry for her charge. "Who was that girl you left with yesterday? Her skirt was really familiar; I think I own one like it –"

"Oh, she…no one. Don't worry about it, Jules." Luckily, the girl did not notice the blush that graced Alex's face.

"Oh, and have you seen Art –"

"Alex, I think you will have to nip into my rooms and get a change of clothes, because yours are too large for me," came the voice of one Artemis Fowl. He appeared in the doorway, clad only in Juliet's skirt and Alex's shirt, unbuttoned. He smiled and wrapped an arm around an embarrassed Alex, and only then did he realise they had company. His smile vanished, instead leaving him with an expression that dared anyone to comment.

Juliet regretted the fact that she did not have a camera.

"Ah, there you are, Artemis. I'll be down having breakfast. Remember, check out is at noon."

Alex was about to pull Artemis back into the room to satiate _another_ hunger, when Juliet, who couldn't resist, called out to them.

"By the way Artemis, you make a very pretty girl!"

OoOoOoOoOo

(**1**) I have no idea if _anyone_ can do it in under one minute, but bear with me. He's Artemis Fowl!

Aih. I wanted that to be a little bit more descriptive. And I have no idea what happened in the middle. Meh. At least I wrote it, now maybe I can actually study. Ten subjects and I have seven days to cram. Argh! Maybe I'll be able to write during my English exam…already, another A/A fic is brewing. XD

Review, sweeties, and then go write A/A fics of your own. Goodness knows we need more. And fanart too! X3

Alien.


End file.
